Monday, May 9, 2016

Mother's Day 2016

Yesterday was Mother's Day. It has been a very long time since my last post which was about my mother who I miss every day and in the most profound ways...still. I spent the most glorious day probably since she died. I was with my god-daughter, her baby girl, her mother and her father. In Paris. Virginia, that is! I did not take this picture; I found it on the web but it shows the route of our stroll down and back on Federal Street. We walked the dogs with baby Bea in the stroller sipping our wine after going to Trinity Church that morning.

After twelve - yes, 12! -  days of clouds and rain it was a brilliant, sunny, mild day. And for the first time in ages I had my god-daughter, her mother and Dad and baby Bea all to myself. Our other reunions of late have been in the settings of occasions with parties involved. What a JOY. We relaxed over an elegant lunch with conversation that was mostly casual, exchanging ideas on a variety of stuff (cooking, tomatoes outdoors, already?, plants, the fish, the bird feeder).  It was sometimes poignant but completely relaxed and full of love.  I felt like I am part of a family. Here is a picture of the country as I left - wistfully - of the country side. The little black dots are cattle. 
It doesn't apply here, but I couldn't help thinking of this:
Something there is that doesn't love a wall, That sends the frozen ground swell up under it, And spills the upper boulders in the sun...
Robert Frost

Saturday, July 4, 2015

September 20, 1923 - February 22, 2015

I don't know what took me so long to share this. Maybe because I miss her every single day.
And holidays are especially fragile.

Thursday, November 20, 2014

Long Time, No Post.

Watch this space.
(If you care to!)
Going forward, I am going to reflect similarly and differently.

Saturday, August 30, 2014

Happy New Year!

Repeating the theme of my annual post, for me this weekend is The New Year. 
December 31st is new year’s eve on the calendar. But in my head and of my body clock, Labor Day is my true New Year’s Eve. This goes back to my boarding school days when we prepared to return to the dormitory with new shoes and notebooks; clean sheets and clothes; and much anticipation about what the the year ahead would bring. Resolutions were part and parcel of living in to the next few months as well. In those days: do homework better. No fooling around. Be more respectful. Nowadays: Row more. Eat better. Drink less. Take better care of Mother. And, this year: blog more. I don’t care if nobody reads my blog. For me, it is a gratifying form of expression especially in the face of writer’s block. So, to all my friends: Happy New Year!!

Thursday, June 12, 2014

Yay. A Month (Almost) Later

When you watch a bunch of boys graduate from high school amidst an incredible, nurturing, and pastoral community (and in a grand setting) it is hard not to absorb the feelings and vibrations of happiness and love. The utter joy on the day itself and all of the events and ceremonial traditions leading up to it make it hard to perpetuate the focus inward (it's not about me, geewhiz). 
It is called "commencement," after all: a beginning, a start, a launch.

(...For those boys and for me.)

Saturday, May 17, 2014

Title: My Apologies for This Confessional

... and I Know Most of the World Will Gloss Over These Last Two Posts

[but it does help to write it down with images.]

At last, I think I have figured most of it out. Maybe not all of it, but it's a breakthrough nonetheless.

"You don't realise how people give you purpose in life until you lose them,"
Those words are from Frieda Hughes, daughter of Sylvia Plath and Ted Hughes. She was a toddler when her mother committed suicide. Frieda and her husband divorced, and her brother committed suicide within months of each event. This, in a short view, explains what I think I have been experiencing. Suddenly, I had no one to cook and care for. Then, I had no sweet dog to pet and walk. 
Too, I am reminded of that great quote spoken by Susan Sarandon in the role of Beverly Clark in the 2004 movie Shall We Dance.  "We need a witness to our lives. There's a billion people on the planet... I mean, what does any one life really mean? But in a marriage, you're promising to care about everything. The good things, the bad things, the terrible things, the mundane things... all of it, all of the time, every day. You're saying 'Your life will not go unnoticed because I will notice it. Your life will not go un-witnessed because I will be your witness."
So there. That's it. And I didn't have to spend a lot of money on therapy to figure it out! That is kind of cool, yes??